I had a
revelation…
Not again…
Yes, well,
no, it’s different this one, really different…
Oh like the
other two thousand were different?
Well,
relativity was different, wasn’t it?
Yeah,
different and over 80 years old when you were born!
Yeah, but I
worked it out on my own, doesn’t that count? At least a little… and without all
the confusing maths too.
Umm…
relativity without the math! Your credibility with me is taking a hit, and
considering, this conversation is between the two of me, you’re really not
doing so well.
Hey, wait a
minute, who said, the two of you, it’s the two of me, or at least the two of
us! At the very least, I am not going to be one of you, and get that straight!
Oh geez, it
was just a slip up, yes yes, we are the two of us, even if we’re just one
person. My heads spinning a bit, with all this, you is me, is one, is you, is
two, is us, we is I shit…
Yeah, well,
if your mind, er… our mind is reeling, imagine what the person reading this is
going through. But, but, let’s get back to my revelation…
But the revelation
really isn’t for them is it?
No… it’s
for us, but, it’s a cool revelation anyway, and they might like it, specially
those of them who know me, er, us… but wait, this is my revelation, not yours,
not ours, merely mine.
Oh yeah,
don’t worry, I’m not going to take any credit for it, or blame. (and I bet
there’s going to be more of the latter)
What was
that? Whatchya say?
Huh? Nothing
man, nothing! OUCH! What did you do that for.
Because! You
were mean. I don’t like it when you’re mean.
Yeah, well I
didn’t hit you.
Well I did.
You hit me verbally, I will hit you physically. Period.
Fine
whatever, get on with the revelation, my head ache is back.
Okay, so
here it is – I need to bathe. It’s not I like to bathe, it’s not bathing is
good, it’s bathing is needed…
That’s your
revelation? Really?
No no, you
don’t get it, bathing… well, bathing is largely considered optional, or at the
very best, politely necessary. There was this queen of England once, remember
who only bathed twice in her life? Damn it I don’t remember her name, but, she
bathed only on the day of her birth, and wedding!
Yes, and
you were trying to do the same…
Well no,
but I always held her up as an ideal of what was possible. You know like Lance
Armstrong, or something? Anyway, in my
case, now –
Yeah cause
earlier you were running pretty close to that queen!
Excuse me,
even at my worst, I woult bathe once a month, not once a life, so no, I wasn’t
anything like the queen, but anyway, what I was saying is this, that now I have
to bathe.
Why?
Well
because if I don’t, my brain –
Hey, that’s
out brain.
Okay fine,
our brain doesn’t work. I need the bathed cleaned feeling to work. Pretty
strange that? I mean even this piece, I could only write it immediately after a
bath, otherwise it was just rotting in my head, and oh yeah, the revelation
also happened when I was in the shower.
Hmm… sounds
good, as a theory, I guess we’ll have to wait till winter to see if it holds
any water! Ha ha ha ha, get it? Holds water! That’s what I call a good pun.
I need a
good gun!
Oh wow! What
a follow up pun, gun –pun yay for the other me! Dude fuck man.
Oh you fuck
man, I’m good. Though seriously, you’re right the winter might just totally
destroy our productivity with how difficult it is to bathe, I mean, heating
water is such a bitch! Fuck fuck fuck, we’ll have to be like ants man, getting
shit done while the water is cool, and the sun is out, before winter sets in.
Dude you’re
such a grass-hopper, and I don’t mean the insect kind!
Yeah and
you’re not… oh I forgot you’re the guy they tried to stone, and failed, because
you already were!
Again,
dude, lame! Just give up with the come backs, they don’t work.
Well that
one was in a Hollywood movie, so it has to be good.
Fuck man,
you’re plagiarizing come backs now? That’s depressing dude!
No I came
up with it on my own, and then discovered it was in a Hollywood movie too.
Oh yeah,
like you came up with relativity.
Yeah,
exactly…
Dude here
is a dictionary open upto to sarcasm, and read it… oh fuck man, I didn’t mean
actually… chuck it dude, give me the dictionary back, and chill…
I don’t get
you, at all…
That’s
obvious.
What’s that
supposed to mean?
Nothing
nothing, don’t start whining… please.
Oh so now I
am a whiner too huh? I’ve had enough of you.
I’ve had
enough of you too…
Fine,
Fine..
Erm, now
what?
I am not
talking to you.
Well you
better, or this stupid piece that has lost all sense of direction won’t end, I am
not doing a monologue!
You better,
since I am too lame to speak.
You do have
a point.
WHAT
Arey, I was
just agreeing with you.
Fine do
your monologue, lets see how interesting that is.
I don’t
know what to monologue about.
Go have a
bath, it’ll help.
Oh can the
bath talk, I just bathed let me think.
That’s
really not your strong suit.
Oh yeah,
and what, thinking makes you into iron man?
Uf! It’s so
bloody hot, I am going to have a bath.
Wait I’ll
come too.
Like you
have a choice.
So, you say
bathing helps right?
Yup it does.
Okay, I
think this bath will a lot.
See, I told
you, bathing helps.
Yeah, so if
just a bath helps, imagine what staying underwater will do.
Well, you
can’t stay underwater, cause you can’t breathe there dodo, you just have to
bathe.
Well, maybe
I can’t breathe underwater, but I think you can.
No I can’t.
Prove it!
How do I prove
I can’t breathe underwater? I just can’t. I can only prove I can’t breathe
underwater.
No I want
you to prove you can.
Arey if I drown
won’t that prove I can’t?
No, it’ll
only prove you can’t breathe underwater, not that you can.
Aren’t they
the same thing.
Are we the
same thing?
No…
So, neither
are they, I want proof that you can breathe underwater, and I’m going to get
it.
How?
There’s
only one way to prove you can breathe underwater, and that is by making you breathe
underwater.
But I can’t.
Yes I know
that, but I don’t know if you can, so I’m going to conduct an experiment to see
if you can.
I don’t
like where this is going.
I do
though, quite a bit. Ha ha ha ha
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