It was a negotiation in the true sense of the word. Two people and their respective teams were at the table. Two facts complicated the negotiation. The first being that both parties believed they were more crucial to what was being negotiated, and the second that both parties wanted the negotiation to work out really badly.
Whether these were important negotiations, I'll let you decide - they were discussing the degree of editorial control the svelte young lady in the Satya Paul diaphanous saree, wearing a bikini for a blouse, would have over a reality TV show being produced by the balding mid-fifties producer in a corduroy jacket with elbow patches.
The lady wanted to be able to delete any scenes she objected to, but was open to understanding, or discussing whatever she didn't understand. She insisted in a most prima donna-ish way that she wasn't like other actresses who made it impossible to work with, but was very cooperative. She enforced her argument saying that she really needed this reality TV show to click with the right audiences.
"Of course Shireen, look I know where you're coming from," the producer said, leaning back, taking his cup of coffee with him, he held it up to his nose for a second to enjoy the aroma then put it down on the low side table next to the sofa. The side table was rather crowded for some reason with a vase, a mobile phone and a stack of coasters. He was using one, “But you know the real reason why we can't have a negotiation about the content (he liked using industry jargon) is ‘cause it’s simply not practical. I mean firstly, it'll take us so long to make an edit, and then send it to you. But whatever edits you want, will then take us the same time to redo as the original. That's just how editing works you know, you have to start from the scratch every time, because removing a five-second clip has a ripple effect, displacing everything else in the reel, till…well, you just have to work from the start again." (He might have been telling the truth.) "And not to mention, if you disagree with something that we found particularly important, from a plot-aspect or just as an exploration of your own personality…like let me give you an example. Say you have a fight with your boyfriend: that will make for good TV, but you probably wouldn't want to show it, even though in the subsequent episode when you make it up to him, in the sweetest romantic way, it'll make you a romance icon. And it might mean a little embarrassment yes, but there's nothing like money to make up for that, right? Unfortunately, you don't understand this industry so well yet, so you wouldn’t know how much candidness is needed and where to stop, and if we start having an argument about that... you know?...when exactly to stop playing one clip, or what angles to show it from, you know the show will never get produced."
Shireen didn't like this, "But darling," she said, “I'm not like those girls”. Yes, he found this opening gambit confusing too. "Don't think I will force you to change everything in your show. I mean just for extreme cases. I won't be sitting on your head all day, I just want to be able to decide what the public sees. I won't be a bitch about it”.
“Ah Shireen,” the producer apologized, "See no one is a bitch, no one wants to be bitchy, but well, creative control is just one of those things, you know?... I mean it just has to be perfectly right. And when people disagree, well it takes time, and energy and causes hell”.
"Arey!" Shireen put down her cold coffee, "Arey"! Her voice was a little high-pitched, and she spoke in Spitfire bursts, "What's wrong with you, why are you saying this? I said, naa, I'm not like those other girls. I can work well with people. I don't have an ego, and I have good communication skills too. So really, there'll be no problem."
"Shireen beta," he deliberately put a little tiredness into his voice, "It just doesn't work like that, trust me. You know I'm your friend, then why don't you trust me?"
“Why don't you trust me? If I say I will work properly with your team, then why can't I have a say in the content?”
"Well you are working with us, you'll be in front of the camera, we'll be behind it. I won’t tell you what to do in front of the camera, which is the whole point of the show, naa? And you don't have to worry about what goes on camera...I mean, if you take care of what you do, then you'll have nothing to worry about, the ball is in your court anyway..."
Shireen opened her mouth to say something, but stopped midway. Her mouth half open, her lips forming an 'O'. The producer was thinking money-ball, if she makes that expression every time she is confused, (which was quite often) we're totally in business.... TRPs will be off the charts.
Shireen didn't say anything. She waited for her thoughts to reorganize around the fact that it was really she who was in control, and if they distorted things too much, there was always a defamation case her lawyers had talked about. But that really wasn't the point. The point was to appeal to two diverse sets of people at the same time. To both the Moms and Dads who pay for tickets, and the hormonal teenagers and tweens who force them to buy tickets for this specific movie. The trick was to be a B-grade sensation while staying within the purdah so-to-speak.
She thought a while longer. The producer started to say, "So you see the control is entirely in your court. We'll never tell you what to do, and we'll only show what you do obviously, so you can do whatever you want. If we could tell you what to do, then there won't be much of 'reality' about it, would there? And these shows only work when they're really real, you know, anything artificial and the audience figures it out. I don't know, but as soon as directors and producers start telling people what to do, it all goes to hell. So you just be your sweet adorable self, and the camera will tell that story, problem solved. We both do our own jobs, instead of each other’s”.
"Hmm...." Shireen began slowly, "Well yeah...that makes sense...you're only interested in the genuineness of the show, naa? And this is the only way to get it right, I guess...I mean yeah, you're not telling me what to do in front of the camera...and you're only interested in an honest show, naa? Beyond that you don't care?"
The producer smelt blood. "Nope, nothing else, just an honest show, and not a cheap sensational one, but a true look at your life."
"Hmm....so then, what if people say it’s fake? As long as we know it’s not fake and really is unscripted, that’s what's important, right?"
"Yes, I'm not concerned with what people say, but with the product we make. If it’s good, gripping TV, and honest, since we're doing reality TV, who cares about what other people say?"
“Okay fine, in that case, I don't think I need editorial control".
The producer exhaled, and let out a lot of tension. His body suddenly sagged into the sofa he was sitting on. The tension and deliberateness left his posture, the semi-squint of his eyes relaxed, first in a series of slow blinks, and then they just opened up, like newly cleaned windows. The lines on his forehead disappeared. His breathing was almost a sigh.
But Shireen wasn't done, "But uncle, I will need a clause in my contract, that says you will spread a rumour through back channels that the whole thing is scripted. You don't care if that happens, naa? After all, our show will still be real... so it'll be interesting, and well, thoda sa debate hoga....it is scripted, it isn't scripted karke".
With that, she slid the contract back towards the producer. "It’s just one line, make the change, and next time we'll both sign it." She stood up and left.
The producer realized she wasn't kidding about those communication skills. They were good, just not good for him.
But then this was probably the last time he would have to deal with them. The whole hubub about editorial control had been a diversion, the real clauses that Shireen should have been warned about had slipped under the radar. No self respeccting lawyer would have lived down missing those financial liability clauses. But then the producer and Shireen's lawyers, both knew who was 'really' paying them.
Whether these were important negotiations, I'll let you decide - they were discussing the degree of editorial control the svelte young lady in the Satya Paul diaphanous saree, wearing a bikini for a blouse, would have over a reality TV show being produced by the balding mid-fifties producer in a corduroy jacket with elbow patches.
The lady wanted to be able to delete any scenes she objected to, but was open to understanding, or discussing whatever she didn't understand. She insisted in a most prima donna-ish way that she wasn't like other actresses who made it impossible to work with, but was very cooperative. She enforced her argument saying that she really needed this reality TV show to click with the right audiences.
"Of course Shireen, look I know where you're coming from," the producer said, leaning back, taking his cup of coffee with him, he held it up to his nose for a second to enjoy the aroma then put it down on the low side table next to the sofa. The side table was rather crowded for some reason with a vase, a mobile phone and a stack of coasters. He was using one, “But you know the real reason why we can't have a negotiation about the content (he liked using industry jargon) is ‘cause it’s simply not practical. I mean firstly, it'll take us so long to make an edit, and then send it to you. But whatever edits you want, will then take us the same time to redo as the original. That's just how editing works you know, you have to start from the scratch every time, because removing a five-second clip has a ripple effect, displacing everything else in the reel, till…well, you just have to work from the start again." (He might have been telling the truth.) "And not to mention, if you disagree with something that we found particularly important, from a plot-aspect or just as an exploration of your own personality…like let me give you an example. Say you have a fight with your boyfriend: that will make for good TV, but you probably wouldn't want to show it, even though in the subsequent episode when you make it up to him, in the sweetest romantic way, it'll make you a romance icon. And it might mean a little embarrassment yes, but there's nothing like money to make up for that, right? Unfortunately, you don't understand this industry so well yet, so you wouldn’t know how much candidness is needed and where to stop, and if we start having an argument about that... you know?...when exactly to stop playing one clip, or what angles to show it from, you know the show will never get produced."
Shireen didn't like this, "But darling," she said, “I'm not like those girls”. Yes, he found this opening gambit confusing too. "Don't think I will force you to change everything in your show. I mean just for extreme cases. I won't be sitting on your head all day, I just want to be able to decide what the public sees. I won't be a bitch about it”.
“Ah Shireen,” the producer apologized, "See no one is a bitch, no one wants to be bitchy, but well, creative control is just one of those things, you know?... I mean it just has to be perfectly right. And when people disagree, well it takes time, and energy and causes hell”.
"Arey!" Shireen put down her cold coffee, "Arey"! Her voice was a little high-pitched, and she spoke in Spitfire bursts, "What's wrong with you, why are you saying this? I said, naa, I'm not like those other girls. I can work well with people. I don't have an ego, and I have good communication skills too. So really, there'll be no problem."
"Shireen beta," he deliberately put a little tiredness into his voice, "It just doesn't work like that, trust me. You know I'm your friend, then why don't you trust me?"
“Why don't you trust me? If I say I will work properly with your team, then why can't I have a say in the content?”
"Well you are working with us, you'll be in front of the camera, we'll be behind it. I won’t tell you what to do in front of the camera, which is the whole point of the show, naa? And you don't have to worry about what goes on camera...I mean, if you take care of what you do, then you'll have nothing to worry about, the ball is in your court anyway..."
Shireen opened her mouth to say something, but stopped midway. Her mouth half open, her lips forming an 'O'. The producer was thinking money-ball, if she makes that expression every time she is confused, (which was quite often) we're totally in business.... TRPs will be off the charts.
Shireen didn't say anything. She waited for her thoughts to reorganize around the fact that it was really she who was in control, and if they distorted things too much, there was always a defamation case her lawyers had talked about. But that really wasn't the point. The point was to appeal to two diverse sets of people at the same time. To both the Moms and Dads who pay for tickets, and the hormonal teenagers and tweens who force them to buy tickets for this specific movie. The trick was to be a B-grade sensation while staying within the purdah so-to-speak.
She thought a while longer. The producer started to say, "So you see the control is entirely in your court. We'll never tell you what to do, and we'll only show what you do obviously, so you can do whatever you want. If we could tell you what to do, then there won't be much of 'reality' about it, would there? And these shows only work when they're really real, you know, anything artificial and the audience figures it out. I don't know, but as soon as directors and producers start telling people what to do, it all goes to hell. So you just be your sweet adorable self, and the camera will tell that story, problem solved. We both do our own jobs, instead of each other’s”.
"Hmm...." Shireen began slowly, "Well yeah...that makes sense...you're only interested in the genuineness of the show, naa? And this is the only way to get it right, I guess...I mean yeah, you're not telling me what to do in front of the camera...and you're only interested in an honest show, naa? Beyond that you don't care?"
The producer smelt blood. "Nope, nothing else, just an honest show, and not a cheap sensational one, but a true look at your life."
"Hmm....so then, what if people say it’s fake? As long as we know it’s not fake and really is unscripted, that’s what's important, right?"
"Yes, I'm not concerned with what people say, but with the product we make. If it’s good, gripping TV, and honest, since we're doing reality TV, who cares about what other people say?"
“Okay fine, in that case, I don't think I need editorial control".
The producer exhaled, and let out a lot of tension. His body suddenly sagged into the sofa he was sitting on. The tension and deliberateness left his posture, the semi-squint of his eyes relaxed, first in a series of slow blinks, and then they just opened up, like newly cleaned windows. The lines on his forehead disappeared. His breathing was almost a sigh.
But Shireen wasn't done, "But uncle, I will need a clause in my contract, that says you will spread a rumour through back channels that the whole thing is scripted. You don't care if that happens, naa? After all, our show will still be real... so it'll be interesting, and well, thoda sa debate hoga....it is scripted, it isn't scripted karke".
With that, she slid the contract back towards the producer. "It’s just one line, make the change, and next time we'll both sign it." She stood up and left.
The producer realized she wasn't kidding about those communication skills. They were good, just not good for him.
But then this was probably the last time he would have to deal with them. The whole hubub about editorial control had been a diversion, the real clauses that Shireen should have been warned about had slipped under the radar. No self respeccting lawyer would have lived down missing those financial liability clauses. But then the producer and Shireen's lawyers, both knew who was 'really' paying them.
No comments:
Post a Comment